Childhood Trauma and Dissociation Causing Severe Adult Struggles

Childhood Trauma and Dissociation Lead to Troublesome Adult Life Struggles

In the complex tapestry of human emotions, unresolved childhood trauma can weave a dark and challenging narrative. The book "Human Development and Trauma" by Ruth Lanius offers insightful perspectives on this topic.

One of the most profound consequences of unresolved childhood trauma is the internalization of anger. This anger can manifest in self-harm or poor self-care, taking various forms such as addiction, eating problems, poor sleep, self-attacking thoughts, self-mutilation, and poor medical care.

A child, in an unsafe and forbidden environment, learns to repress genuine emotions and share only what is deemed acceptable by their caregivers. This adaptation mechanism, known as false self or persona, is necessary to survive in a lacking and dangerous environment. However, this repression often carries over into adulthood, leading to struggles in expressing anger appropriately when needed.

Dissociation, another common psychological defense mechanism, is developed by children to manage complex and painful emotions resulting from trauma. This impairs a person's ability to be in touch with their true feelings, needs, thoughts, and preferences, creating a lack of self-connection.

Adults who have experienced childhood trauma often struggle with internalized feelings of guilt and shame, often blaming themselves for their pain. They may accept toxic and dysfunctional treatment in their relationships, find it difficult to overcome self-loathing, and believe they deserve the treatment they received as children.

The lack of self-connection due to childhood trauma can lead to a myriad of emotional, psychological, social, and physical problems. Lacking a healthy connection with one's true emotions can warp a person's self-esteem, leading to tendencies like seeing oneself as lower than others, pleasing everyone, never feeling good enough, seeking constant validation, or overcompensating and toxically competing.

Severe lack of self-connection can lead to various problems such as skewed self-esteem, self-blame and unjust responsibility, chronic shame, emptiness, lack of motivation, social anxiety, and anger issues. Low, skewed self-esteem, toxic shame and guilt, anger issues, and self-harm and poor self-care are some of the problems that can arise from unresolved childhood trauma.

However, there is hope for overcoming the issues caused by unresolved childhood trauma and becoming a healthier, happier, and more resolved individual. People who rebuild their connection with themselves can break free from the cycle of self-harm and poor self-care, and learn to express their anger appropriately.

Projected anger, directed outwardly, can harm others and continue the cycle of abuse. By understanding the root causes of our emotions and learning to express them healthily, we can foster healthier relationships and break free from the chains of our past.