Five Key Factors Contributing to High Levels of Male Loneliness

Five Key Factors Contributing to Men's Overwhelming Loneliness

In a society where traditional norms often dictate that real men don't talk about their feelings, many men find themselves struggling with loneliness. This is according to Elizabeth Weil, the author of the article "Lonely Men in America," published in 2017.

The fear of appearing weak is a major contributing factor to male loneliness. Men are taught to pull themselves up by the bootstraps, a philosophy that can be problematic for those suffering from depression or anxiety. This pressure to conform to societal expectations can lead many men who are not naturally confident to isolate and withdraw inward.

Lack of close friendships is a common issue among these lonely men. Men often bond through shared, intense experiences, but this can be a problem for those who did not partake in such experiences or when friends from those experiences are gone. As men age, opportunities for bonding through shared experiences become fewer.

The hypermasculine messaging around manliness, as depicted in men's magazines and advertisements, is often high in testosterone and assertive in nature. This can make some men feel less than a man if they are not assertive or confident, contributing to their feelings of loneliness.

One middle-aged man confided in the author that he was extremely lonely and did not have any friends. This lack of social connections can have significant impacts on mortality risk, as suggested by research by Holt-Lunstad, Smith, and Layton in 2010.

Many men are not comfortable being vulnerable due to the fear of judgement, which can further contribute to their loneliness. Being vulnerable, such as sharing feelings, is necessary for forming close friendships, but many men are not accustomed to doing so.

The hypermasculine messaging around manliness needs to be addressed to help combat the problem of male loneliness. By recognising and challenging these norms, we can create a society where men feel empowered to be open about their feelings and build the meaningful connections that are essential for their well-being.

The biggest threat facing middle-age men is not smoking or obesity, but loneliness. As a counselor specializing in men's issues, the author frequently encounters men who are sad, depressed, rejected, and angry about the state of their lives. It is crucial that we acknowledge and address this issue to ensure the health and happiness of our male population.