Five Kinds of Individuals with a Predisposition for Mutual Attraction
In the intricate dance of human relationships, the question of what draws two people together has long been a subject of fascination and debate. From the ancient wisdom of philosophers to the modern theories of psychologists, the concept of attraction has been explored from various angles.
One philosophical work, though its author remains unidentified, posits that the soul attracts what it secretly likes and fears. This theory, while not explicitly named in search results, is hinted at by James Allen in his 1909 book, where he states that the soul attracts that which it secretly harbours, that which it loves, and also that which it fears. However, a direct source identifying this philosopher or explaining this concept in detail is yet to be found.
Meanwhile, the popular saying "Opposites attract" finds its echo in the realm of relationships. While the origin of this saying remains a mystery, its relevance is evident in the magnetic attraction that can occur between introverts and extroverts, hyperactive and unhurried individuals, and sensitive and stoic people.
However, this principle, borrowed from the electrical force analogy, does not account for the attraction of dysfunctions. In some cases, dysfunctions can be naturally drawn towards each other, such as addicts and co-dependents, borderline and dependent personalities, and aggressive and suppressive individuals.
This phenomenon can be particularly dangerous for individuals with severe trauma experiences. They may, due to unresolved trauma, place themselves in similar vulnerable situations, such as repeatedly entering abusive relationships.
The saying "Birds of a feather flock together" helps explain how some people are naturally drawn to their own dysfunction. For instance, Sarah, who has a pattern of dating abusive individuals, may find herself attracted to those who mirror her own dysfunctional behaviours.
On the other hand, while opposites attract, some mental disorders may be naturally drawn to similar dysfunctions in others. Sigmund Freud believed that a person is often attracted to their parent in childhood, and some carry this subconscious attraction into their adult relationships, either marrying their favorite parent or their least favorite parent.
However, not all relationships follow these patterns. Bill, for example, accidentally referred to his girlfriend as his mother during an argument, indicating a mismatch in the typical opposites attract dynamic.
In the quest for understanding the complexities of human relationships, M. Scott Peck's book, The Road Less Traveled, offers a glimmer of hope. He writes that healing from natural dysfunctional attractions opens a person up to healthy functional relationships.
In conclusion, the puzzle of attraction in relationships is a complex one, with elements of opposites attracting, similarities drawing close, and unseen forces pulling us towards our own dysfunction. As we continue to explore and understand these dynamics, we may find the keys to healthier, more fulfilling relationships.
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