'Catching Up on the Loop': Strategies for Dealing with Feeling Excluded

"Missing the Inner Circle: Strategies for Dealing with Feelings of Exclusion"

Being left out can be a challenging experience, often perceived as a form of bullying or toxic positivity. Excessive positivity or negative criticism can make one feel excluded, and this intentional or unintentional act sends a message that you may not be important to the group.

Feeling left out is a normal and adaptive response, causing a shift towards an avoidance or prevention-oriented thought process. It's important to remember that this discomfort can be traced back to a time when membership in a social group was crucial for survival.

However, there are ways to navigate these feelings and avoid self-pity. One approach is to take a moment to understand one's feelings, preventing escalation to anger or retaliation. Building self-confidence can also help individuals better withstand exclusion and create their own circles of inclusion.

Communicating with the person who has excluded you can help understand the situation and address any specific reasons for the exclusion. If regular exclusion occurs, it may be necessary to reevaluate one's core friend group.

Social rejection, including feelings of being left out, has been found to have its benefits. It may help people generate more innovative ideas, making one more aware of their behaviors and interactions, and causing them to seek to refine some of their social habits.

Loneliness and social isolation, however, can have detrimental effects on mental and physical health. They were found to be twice as harmful as obesity. Reaching out to coworkers, neighbors, or church members can help create new friendships and stave off feelings of rejection and loneliness.

Reminding oneself that close family and friends may have unintentionally forgotten to include you in plans can help alleviate assumptions of intentional exclusion. The person excluding others from the circle may have a background involving introversion, uncooperative behavior, or social difficulties, which can lead to exclusion due to misunderstandings or prejudices. Understanding this background helps improve communication about exclusion by fostering empathy and addressing the root causes such as social behavior or stereotypes.

Interestingly, the brain translates feelings of being left out as pain. Shifting one's narrative from focusing on rejection to reevaluating what one values in a relationship or friendship can provide a new perspective. Reaching out to others can also help include friends who may be feeling the same way, ensuring that these temporary sensations of feeling left out don't linger.