Self-Regard Meaning, Classifications, Illustrations, and Strategies

Self-Regard Explained: Classifications, Illustrations, and Guidelines

Self-esteem, the way we perceive and value ourselves, plays a significant role in our lives. It serves as a template for our relationships with others and directly impacts our relationship happiness.

When self-esteem is impaired, it can manifest in various ways. People may engage in people-pleasing, manipulation, jealousy, restriction of others' associations, and self-sacrifice. Impaired self-esteem can also lead to insecurity, self-doubt, comparison to others, and self-criticism.

Moreover, it negatively impacts our ability to manage adversity and life's disappointments. However, it's important to note that even after difficult events like breakups, illness, or loss of income, self-esteem can rebound to think positively about oneself and the future.

Impaired self-esteem hinders our ability to speak up about our wants and needs and share vulnerable feelings, compromising honesty and intimacy. It can also lead to feelings of false guilt, fear, hopelessness, and irredeemability, a phenomenon known as toxic shame.

Shame anxiety makes it difficult to try new things, have intimate relationships, be spontaneous, or take risks, often due to fear of rejection or judgment by others. Shame is a major cause of depression, self-destructive behavior, eating disorders, addiction, and aggression.

Growing up in a dysfunctional family can lead to codependency as an adult and weaken self-esteem. The most common causes of impaired self-esteem in childhood and adolescence are often linked to negative familial and social experiences, including traumas, chronic stress, neglect, or lack of emotional support; exposure to unrealistic societal and cultural ideals, such as extreme beauty standards portrayed in media and social networks; and psychological difficulties like ADHD or emotional and behavioral disorders, which can contribute to feelings of inadequacy or social rejection.

Raising self-esteem involves getting to know and love yourself, building a relationship with yourself, and becoming your own best friend. Therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, meditation, journaling, and reading books like "Conquering Shame and Codependency" can help in raising self-esteem and healing toxic shame.

Self-esteem significantly affects what we think, feel, and behave. It impacts our relationships, work, goals, and self-care. Moreover, it influences our happiness and enjoyment of life.

Children who feel emotionally abandoned may conclude they are not good enough, leading to feelings of insecurity, inferiority, or inadequacy. It's crucial to address these issues early to prevent the long-term effects of impaired self-esteem.

In conclusion, understanding self-esteem and its impact is essential for personal growth and healthy relationships. By recognising the signs of impaired self-esteem and seeking help when needed, we can work towards building a healthier, happier, and more fulfilling life.