Strategies for Keeping Others' Negativity at Bay (and Maintaining a Positive Attitude)

In the complex tapestry of human relationships, estrangement is a thread that often goes unnoticed but can have profound impacts on individuals and families. Estrangement, unfortunately, is often stigmatized and associated with shame. However, it is essential to approach this topic with understanding and compassion, recognizing that it is a common experience for one in five families in the UK.

The average period of estrangement lasts for 9 years. If we fail to take action to alleviate the impact of others on our psyche, we risk suffering from compromised confidence, a drop in self-esteem, feelings of inadequacy and unworthiness, deep sadness and loneliness, and potential negative effects on physical health. It is crucial to remember that we have the power to control how we respond to others, and it is not our role to be someone's punching bag.

In certain situations, going no contact with a family member may be necessary for self-preservation, although it is a difficult decision that requires self-reflection and courage. Hurt people often hurt others, and remembering this can help foster compassion and understanding towards others' behavior, even if it is irksome. Common causes of estrangement include abuse, neglect, betrayal, bullying, unaddressed mental illness, a lack of support, substance abuse, and destructive behavior.

When other people reach you, it means they reflect parts of your subconscious, patterns, fears, or unmet dreams, acting as mirrors that help you learn about yourself, heal, and grow through their messages and interactions. Approach disagreements with an open mind, understanding that everyone is entitled to an opinion, and treat them as learning opportunities.

In the digital age, people getting to us can manifest in various ways, including passive-aggressive comments, hostile dialogue, micro-aggressions, being ignored or overlooked, and being the subject of gossip or betrayal. To stop people from getting to us, tips include deleting, blocking, unfollowing, and muting people online who cause internal discomfort. Sometimes, it is beneficial to choose which conflicts to engage in, and some topics may be best avoided to prevent arguments.

Remember the wisdom of Siddhartha Buddha: "Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned." Kindness, dogs, and nature are Ali Hall's superpowers. Ali Hall, author of this article, has worked and traveled all over the world, and holds a degree in Psychology with Sports Science.

In conclusion, navigating estrangement requires courage, self-reflection, and a commitment to prioritizing one's well-being. By understanding the causes, learning to respond effectively, and seeking support when needed, we can turn this challenging experience into an opportunity for growth and healing.

Strategies for Keeping Others' Negativity at Bay (and Maintaining a Positive Attitude)