Adapting Control Beyond Reach: 5 Strategies for Managing the Uncontrollable

Strategies for Managing the Uncontrollable: 5 Key Points

In the hustle and bustle of everyday life, it can often feel overwhelming to deal with the things we cannot control. However, a key strategy in managing these uncertainties is identifying the things that we can control.

According to Edie Weinstein, a licensed social worker and journalist based in Philadelphia, recognising the control we have over certain aspects of our lives might help us feel better. Similarly, Roseann Capanna-Hodge, a licensed counselor in Ridgefield, Connecticut, and the founder of The Global Institute of Children's Mental Health, suggests focusing on our surroundings through mindfulness activities and breathing exercises as a way to regain feelings of control and lower stress levels.

Engaging in mindfulness exercises for at least 10 minutes a day is recommended to help regain feelings of control and lower stress levels. This practice involves focusing on the present moment, where one is, and what one is feeling. It can distract one from things one cannot control in the moment.

Deep breathing exercises are a simple yet effective mindfulness technique. To perform this exercise, sit down, put your hands on your belly, slowly breathe in through your nose, filling your belly with air, and slowly breathe out through your mouth, focusing on the motion of your belly. This helps soothe anxiety and activates the parasympathetic nervous system.

Journaling can also be beneficial in managing stress and anxiety. This exercise involves asking questions like "What am I feeling right now?", "What was I thinking when I started feeling this way?", "What in this situation causes me pain or stress?", "Is this something I can change?", "What are some aspects of the situation I can control?", "What would really happen if I can't change anything in this situation?". Journaling can help express and process emotions, identify cognitive distortions, and become aware of the root causes of anxiety or stress.

Cognitive distortions, such as the control fallacy, are persistent thoughts that aren't grounded in reality and make one see things more negatively than they really are. The control fallacy is the idea that one can and should control more than what they actually can control. Recognising and addressing these distortions can help reduce anxiety and stress levels.

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and other types of therapy can be effective in addressing controlling behaviors and cognitive distortions. Seeking help from a mental health professional is recommended if anxiety is getting in the way of day-to-day functioning or if physical symptoms of stress, such as changes in sleep patterns or gastrointestinal difficulties, are present.

In conclusion, focusing on what we can control and practising mindfulness exercises can help manage stress and anxiety. It is never wrong to work with an objective professional for guidance.