Strategies for Reinforcing Personal Limits and Nurturing a Vigorous Bond

Strategies for Reinforcing Personal Space and Establishing a Constructive Bond

In the journey of life, relationships play a significant role, be it romantic or platonic. Two experts, Dr. Laura McGuire and Andrea Glik, LMSW, have offered valuable insights on how to build and maintain healthy relationships. These tips, first published in 2020, serve as a beacon for those seeking to navigate the complexities of human connections.

The foundation of any relationship is understanding one's own needs and boundaries. Knowing what one wants and won't tolerate is crucial. If a new partner dismisses these boundaries, it may signal that they are not a good fit.

Healthy relationships are not merely happenstance; they are built, much like the construction of roads. Both partners should work on any behavior that has hurt the other, take responsibility, and change. Learning to navigate conflict or uncertainty can build the kinds of intimacy and trust needed in a relationship.

Using neutral language, such as "I" versus "you" statements, can be helpful in expressing feelings and experiences. Speaking up when one feels uncomfortable is also important in building healthy relationships.

The author of this article, who has experienced abusive relationships in the past, shares their struggle with trusting new partners. The author's therapist often refers to a "people picker" in the author's brain, which chooses who the author wants in their life. This struggle with difficult conversations without becoming frantic or crying due to past traumas is a common challenge for many.

To combat this, setting up check-ins to talk about the relationship can provide a safe space to bring up issues and help in building accountability. Sharing boundaries and what makes one feel secure in relationships is crucial. Creating a list of red flags and green flags based on past experiences can help when starting something new.

Having a support system outside of your partner from the start can help provide an objective perspective. Asking people in your life to check in on you during a new relationship can help keep you grounded and ensure you're being treated well.

Dr. Laura McGuire suggests learning what a healthy disagreement or conflict looks and feels like to rebuild good communication habits. Realizing that the work doesn't stop, for yourself or your relationship, is also important in building healthy relationships.

It's essential to remember that if you or someone you love is experiencing abuse, there are resources available for help. The National Domestic Violence Hotline is one such resource, available at 1-800-799-7233 or TTY 1-800-787-3224. Support groups can also be found online.

In conclusion, building healthy relationships requires two people doing the work and showing up for one another. It's a journey that takes time, effort, and a willingness to grow and change. But the rewards—a loving, supportive, and respectful connection—make it all worthwhile.