Strategies of Avoidance: Honest Conversations on Cold Shoulder, Disappearing Acts, and Cutting Communication Ties
In the complex world of relationships, understanding and navigating emotional abuse is crucial. Two strategies that have gained prominence in recent years are No Contact and the Silent Treatment, often used by survivors of psychological abuse to protect themselves from further harm.
No Contact, a stance taken by survivors, is a deliberate decision to block any communication with an abusive party. This strategy is not designed to punish the abuser but to protect oneself from further abuse. It is particularly effective when the relationship is ended, providing a much-needed barrier against potential emotional assaults.
The term "No Contact" is not new. It has been used in various contexts, including in the book "Help! I'm in Love with a Narcissist" by Carter and Sokol (2005) and "Narcissistic Lovers: How to Cope, Recover and Move On" by Zayn and Dibble (2007). More recently, the book "Betrayal Bond: Breaking Free of Exploitive Relationships" by Carnes (2015) discusses coping with exploitive relationships, providing valuable insights for those dealing with such situations.
On the other hand, the Silent Treatment is a psychological abuse tactic often employed by individuals with narcissistic tendencies. Its purpose is not to foster communication but to generate psychological equilibrium and control, often used as a punishment for the offending party. This tactic is cruel and can be emotionally damaging, as it is designed to create uncertainty and discomfort.
Ghosting, a term used to describe a dating partner fading off the planet without any explanation, can also be a form of the Silent Treatment. It is a cowardly behavior, reminiscent of middle school tactics, not employed by emotionally mature people. It is designed to send the message that one is "just not that into" the other person without having to face the discomfort of rejection.
It is essential to note that these strategies are not always easy to implement, especially when children are involved. In such cases, Limited Contact might be a more suitable option. However, No Contact or Limited Contact is recommended by helping professionals in the field of relational trauma for healing and recovery from narcissistic abuse.
Understanding these strategies and their implications can empower survivors of psychological abuse, providing them with tools to reclaim their emotional wellbeing and move forward towards a healthier, happier life.
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