Struggling with COVID-19 worries finally gets the better of me

In the heart of Hanoi, Vietnam, as the world plunged into full-blown panic due to the spreading pandemic, a travel writer named Nick Hilden found himself in the midst of uncertainty.

At a local bar called Nameless, expats debated whether to stay or flee, as Vietnam was imposing strict lockdown measures. The writer was given permission to disembark, with the promise that the following morning's flight to Mexico City would likely be one of the last allowed to leave.

Upon landing, passengers were scanned with thermal scanners by individuals in hazmat suits, a stark reminder of the unprecedented times. The writer had surrendered to the reality of the COVID-19 pandemic, a reality that was beginning to affect everyone, including the writer and their partner.

The partner noticed the writer's growing irritability, a symptom of the anxiety that was gripping the world. Recognising these emotions as projections of their own anxieties, the couple learned to navigate through their fears together.

The writer's initial flight, destined for Moscow, was disrupted when Russia suspended all flights, potentially cancelling the connection. The writer waited another 2 weeks before catching one of the last planes out of Vietnam, a decision that was both surreal and harrowing.

The writer arrived in Bangkok, Thailand on New Year's Eve 2019, not for a celebration, but for location research for a novel about a pandemic. Little did the writer know, the actual pandemic would begin less than 3 months later, mirroring the novel's plot.

The writer's travel plans, work, and life as a traveler were suddenly suspended indefinitely. The anxiety turned into a drizzle, not a tempest, as the writer learned to accept that the COVID-19 situation was beyond their control.

As the writer looks back on this journey, they find a growing sense of peace. The writer's mom and partner have admitted that visiting each other is likely happening later rather than sooner, a reality that the writer has come to terms with.

Nick Hilden is a travel, fitness, arts, and fiction writer whose work has appeared in various publications. Despite the current circumstances, the writer continues to write, finding solace and inspiration in the written word.