Struggling with back-to-school blues? Here are coping strategies for parents.

As the back-to-school season approaches, many parents may find themselves grappling with feelings of sadness. This is a natural part of the parenting journey, and learning to work with these emotions can benefit both physical and mental health.

Understanding the purpose of sadness is crucial in dealing with it effectively. According to Juli Fraga, Psy.D., a clinical psychologist and co-author of the forthcoming book "Parents Have Feelings, Too," sadness is a signal, a teacher, and a tool for connection. It's a way for our minds and bodies to communicate that something important has happened, and it's essential to acknowledge and process these feelings.

Sadness often manifests physically as heaviness, an aching heart, or sluggishness. Naming and honoring these feelings allows for emotional awareness and adaptive actions that support oneself and one's family. For instance, deep belly breathing can help one ride the full wave of sadness, while acknowledging the feeling and reminding oneself it's temporary can be beneficial.

The Change Triangle, a tool developed by Fraga and her co-author Sue Gerhardt, is another useful resource for navigating sadness and guiding one back to a calmer state. This tool helps in releasing the energy of core emotions like sadness and returning to a balanced state.

Society often discourages the expression of sadness, viewing it as a flaw or a problem to be solved. However, naming a feeling like sadness, such as saying "I feel sad," can calm the brain. Leaning on a partner or friend for comfort when one's child no longer craves physical affection can prevent unintentional guilt.

When we name and honor sadness, we can "feel and deal," fostering emotional awareness and adaptive actions. This can lead to increased resilience, stronger relationships, and the modeling of healthy emotional expression for children. The back-to-school season may bring an urge to cry, curl up, or seek comfort. Embracing these feelings and allowing oneself to process them can protect the heart and reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression.

Hilary Jacobs Hendel, LCSW, a certified AEDP psychotherapist and author, emphasizes the importance of this approach. She states, "When we learn to work with our sadness, we are better equipped to handle life's challenges and support our children in doing the same."

The forthcoming book "Parents Have Feelings, Too: A Guide to Navigating Your Emotions So You And Your Family Can Thrive" (Alcove Press, September 2025) by Fraga, Gerhardt, and Hendel aims to provide parents with practical strategies for managing their emotions during this transformative time. The book is scheduled for release in 2025, with a companion book set to follow in 2026.

In conclusion, acknowledging and processing feelings of sadness during the back-to-school season can lead to a more balanced and resilient parenting experience. By using tools like the Change Triangle, naming and honoring our feelings, and seeking support from loved ones, we can navigate this emotional period with grace and strength.