Title: The Misconception of Being "Triggered" Being Entirely User's Responsibility
In life, we often encounter moments or circumstances that stir up strong emotional responses, disproportionate to the event itself. These moments are known as triggers.
Triggers are not merely external stimuli; they are unconscious reminders that reactivate a memory package, encompassing sensory impressions, feelings, physical reactions, and meanings. These memory packages are often formed from childhood experiences involving emotions such as shame, guilt, or fear. A trigger can be as subtle as a tone of voice, a certain phrase, a look, or even a smell. The origins of these triggers lie deeply within ourselves, formed through strong emotional experiences that have left indelible neural pathways in our brains.
Contrary to popular belief, these triggers do not originate from the person who may have caused the negative feelings, but from within ourselves. This realisation is crucial in taking responsibility for our emotional responses, known as trigger responses.
So, how can we manage these triggers?
Firstly, it's essential to find a mantra that provides emotional safety and soothing. Mantras such as "This, too, shall pass", "Everything will be okay", and "Feelings are fleeting" can help to calm the mind and alleviate the intensity of the emotional response.
Secondly, rather than blaming or attacking the other person, it's beneficial to talk to oneself and help oneself calm down. This self-talk can help to reframe the situation and reduce the emotional intensity.
To better understand triggers, ask yourself questions such as: "How do I feel?", "How old do I feel?", "Does this feeling match what just happened?", and "When have I felt this way before?" These questions can help to identify the root cause of the trigger and provide insight into the emotional response.
It's important to remember that the responsibility for trigger responses lies with the individual, not the other person. Emotional flashbacks caused by triggers can be uncontrollable and very strong, but by understanding and managing triggers, we can take control of our emotional well-being and lead a more peaceful life.
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